HO-HO-HORROR FOR THE HOLIDAYS: "And All Through The House" : Tales From the Crypt Season 1, Ep 2 (1989)

Running Time: 22 minutes

Release Date: June 10, 1989

Review by: Stacey

In keeping with the season of killer Santas, I'm bringing you a favorite of many with an episode from season one of Tales From The Crypt.  Yes, I'm talking about "And All Through The House".  Every person I have talked to has made it a point to tell me how much they love this episode, and surprisingly enough, I hadn't seen it yet!  Now I understand what everyone was talking about!

HO-HO-HORROR FOR THE HOLIDAYS: Christmas Evil (1980)

Running Time: 100 minutes

Release Date: November 1980

Review by: Stacey

 

A majority of the Christmas horror films on my list to watch this month are ones that are mostly obscure and first-time watches for me.  That brings us to the cult classic, Christmas Evil (or You Better Watch Out OR Terror in Toyland), which actually featured a deranged, killer Santa Claus BEFORE Silent Night, Deadly Night.  Released on DVD by Troma films in 2000, I wasn't quite sure what to expect other than a typical holiday slasher.  John Waters has actually stated that this is the greatest Christmas movie ever made and whatever that dude backs, I back.

Two Strains

 

Fox Horror is gearing up for the release of FX's The Strain blu-ray/dvd and digital HD!  I was given the opportunity to check out their awesome site, twostrains.com which gives you a side by side comparison of the graphic novel with scenes from the series with exclusive commentary from the graphic novel artist, Mike Huddleston.

If you've seen the The Strain but haven't had a chance to read the graphic novels, I'd say get on that now!  With the growing trend of graphic novels being turned into t.v. shows it's hard to really get a feel for how true to the books these series are, especially for the folks that have never heard of them until they're on their t.v. screens.

With twostrains.com you get to see exactly what vision Guillermo del Toro had for both the graphic novels and the television series as he created both (along with some other incredibly talented folks).  

I've always found that graphic novels give you more freedom to put your own imaginative spin on the personalities of each character and such was the case with The Strain but it's really fun to see what the show creators came up with to bring it to the screen.  And from what I've read and seen, they did a fantastic job with the casting.

 It's pretty awesome to see scenes from the graphic novel right next to the same scenes from the series and see just how on point they were because I remember watching the show every Sunday super excited to see what would come next and I can imagine readers of the novels felt the same!  

 

While the show didn't deviate much from the graphic novels, it didn't make it any less frightening!  The anxiousness for every next scene in the tv series filled me with just as much dread as every panel in the graphic novels.  

 

 

The site gives you an inside sneak "peek" into the making of both giving you a greater appreciation for the creative process these folks had, while making you feel closer to a show that I love and really think is going to only get bigger and bigger over the coming years!

 The takeover for the Fox Horror site won't last long so I suggest you check out twostrains.com for exclusive videos on the FX's The Strain and the graphic novels now!

HO-HO-HORROR FOR THE HOLIDAYS! Saint Nick (2010)

I've been a tad MIA the last month due to me and the hubs picking up and moving our asses on out to the dang 'ol country!  But I'm back and ready to take on this dreaded holiday season here at To Avoid Fainting with the good, the bad, and the downright ugly of the Christmas horror films!  All December long I'll be posting reviews for these films (with a few random non-Xmas related films sprinkled in) to make this cheery holiday a little more bloody.

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Let's kick this off with 2010's Dutch dark comedy/horror film Sint (Saint or Saint Nick in the States).

Running Time: 85 minutes

Release Date: Oct 31, 2010 (Razor Reel Fantastic Film Festival) & Nov 11, 2010 (Netherlands)

 

 

Carrie (2013)

 Running Time: 99 minutes
Release Date: October 18, 2013

Review by: Stacey

Any time news comes out about a classic horror film being remade, you immediately hear the angrily hurried clicking of the keyboards as horror fans all over spit and hiss at the very idea of some schlub ruining fan favorites.  I will not lie, I am usually one of those people.  Most modern remakes of horror films that we've all grown to love over the decades have been pure shit (*coughTheFogcough*), can you blame me?  Now this brings me to 2013's Carrie remake, which actually wasn't PURE shit but also wasn't good at all.

Video review #3: Tremors!

Chris came up to lovely 'ol Austin last weekend at which point we decided we needed a new video review.  And naturally, we decided on the 1990 "classic" Tremors.

Feel free to leave comments telling us how much we suck or rule.  Or if there's a movie you'd like to see us review!  

Also, don't forget to sign up on the right hand side of the page with your e-mail to receive updates whenever a new post goes up!

Watch and enjoy!

The Hunted (2014)

Running Time: 89 minutes

Release Date: Oct. 10, 2013 (Screamfest) and Sept. 9, 2014 (VOD & DVD)

Review by: Stacey

Looks like we're back on the found footage trail this week with Josh Stewart's (The Collector, The Collection) directorial debut film, The Hunted.  I ain't even gonna lie, I love me some Josh Stewart, so naturally I was pretty excited to hear he had written/directed and would be starring in a new horror film.  I'm not even going to go over the "found footage" debate because I already discussed that in my last post for The Houses October Built.  I will say that while The Hunted suffers a few pitfalls of the genre and some of the mistakes that usually come with first-time directors, this film had more good than bad.

The Houses October Built (2014)

Running Time: 91 minutes

Release Date: October 10, 2014

Review by: Stacey

I'm one of the few that actually enjoys a good found footage film (see: GOOD) and I'll get down on any film that is centered around the Halloween holiday itself.  After much internet buzz, my old man and I decided to sit our asses down and rent The Houses October Built, not to be confused by the documentary bearing the same title by the same director.  By the end credits, we were more disappointed than spooked.

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (2013)

Running Time: 90 minutes

Release Date: Sep. 9, 2006 (TIFF) and Oct. 11, 2013 (limited US release)

Review by: Stacey

This was one of those rare movies that I actually went into full on cold watch.  I didn't even know what the premise was.  All The Boys Love Mandy Lane, that's basically all I knew.  I was a little hesitant because initially I thought it would be some kind of gross, teenage rape film.  I was way off.

Psychomania (1973)

Running Time: 95 minutes

Release Date:  January 1974 (US)

 Review by: Stacey

The 70's were a time when the occult and witchcraft were ripe in film.  Especially lower-budget films, which some soon became cult classics.  British film saw its fair share of the like, namely with 1973's The Wicker Man and many in the Hammer films collection.  Then in rolls Psychomania aka The Death Wheelers with their undead biker gang, pacts with the devil, and...frogs?  Yes, frogs.  

Tusk (2014)

Running Time: 102 minutes

Release Date: Sept. 6, 2014 (TIFF) & Sept. 19, 2014 (US theatrical release)

 Review by: Stacey

Let me start this review off by saying that I've never loved or hated Kevin Smith and his numerous film projects (with the exception of Clerks and Clerks 2).  I barely watched Red State last month, which I had heard was his contribution to the horror genre when it fact it was not horror at all, a lot of people hated it and it wasn't that good.  Except for Michael Parks.  So, when I heard that Smith would be making a film based off a weed-riddled conversation they had on one of his many podcasts revolving around a man being turned into a walrus and starring Michael Parks, I was like "FUCK YEAH."

What we got was an eye-opening look into WTFworld.  

American Mary (2013)

Running Time: 102 minutes

Release Date: Aug. 27, 2012 (London FrightFest Film Fest) & May 31, 2013 (US limited theatrical)

Review by: Stacey

I saw American Mary some time last year when it first came out on Netflix and being a film that was highly anticipated in the horror community, I thought I'd give it a shot.  What did I think?  Well, I didn't like it the first time I viewed it.  Maybe I didn't pay enough attention, maybe I didn't get it, hell, maybe I went to take a piss and missed a pivotal scene.  All I know is I didn't see what everyone was losing their shit about.  Okay, I think I know why and it comes in the form of fringe-haired, tall, brooding and very boob-y Katherine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps).  For that I can't blame y'all, but c'mon now.  Fast forward to today and I felt like the now-cult classic venture by the Soska Twins (Dead Hooker In A Trunk), who seem to have taken the genre by storm, deserved another watch to see if maybe my opinions had changed.

 

Blood Glacier (2013)

Running Time: 98 minutes

Release Date: September 6, 2013 (TIFF) & May 2, 2014 (US limited release)

Review by: Stacey

Blood Glacier.  The name alone reeks of cheesy B-grade horror.  I've been hearing the name float around in the horror community the last few weeks but surprisingly, didn't hear many reviews on it.  I imagined it was a movie about a killer glacier so I tried to distance myself as much as possible from it.  Then I saw it was put up on Netflix and decided to bite that bullet and sit down for a watch.  Wait, researchers (in a desolate, cold wasteland known as the Austrian Alps, fighting off otherworldly monsters that use humans or anything it lands on, really, as incubators?  Wait a minute...did John Carpenter make this?

The Tortured (2010)

Running Time: 79 minutes

Release Date: August 28, 2010

Review by: Stacey

Looking at the cover, my eyes were immediately drawn to the words at the top right: "From the producers of Saw".  I knew what I was about to get myself into because anything with the name Twisted Pictures attached to it is going to be in the vein of it's previous films that gave "the house that Wan built" it's torture porn notoriety; most notably Saw.  Unlike Saw and it's many sequels that followed, The Tortured was straight to VOD and as the title suggested, it was torture to watch a lot of the time.  

The Happy House (2013)

Running Time: 120 minutes

Release Date: May 3, 2013
Review by: Stacey

 

Today was a lazy Sunday as Adam had to be in the studio all day and I was left home alone.  Obviously that meant movies and reviews!  I did one of those "blind picks" on Netflix and landed on 2013's The Happy House directed/written by D.W. Young.  It seems that The Happy House is Young's first feature length film (using his directing skills on shorts and documentaries for the most part.)  Before watching I managed to catch a glimpse of a few of the Netflix reviews and let's just say, most weren't too pleased with what they saw.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes review!

Once again I offered my writing services to Horror Movies Uncut in the form of a review for the newly released Dawn of the Planet of the Apes!

I attended the press screening this past Tuesday and was blown away!

Click the link below to read my review!

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes --- Horror Movies Uncut 

~Stacey-Beth

Resolution (2012)

Chris and I got together a second time to make a quick video review for 2012's Resolution.  Directed by Justin Benson and Aaron Scott Moorhead.

Excuse my excessive ADD.

Enjoy!

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Follow Chris and Stacey at their respective Twitters for updates and to send us movie review suggestions!

WickdChris 

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Stacey-Beth

Update!

In case anyone that reads our blog is wondering why it's looking a little lonely, I promise we're still alive and well....ok, I don't think we've ever been well, but we're definitely alive!

Chris and I haven't forgotten about our horror blog love child but we've been hard at work with another amazing horror site, Horror Movies Uncut, lending our review writing skills alongside some pretty great folks who are bringing you the latest and greatest in indie horror news.  

Below I've provided the links to all of the reviews Chris and I have contributed to HMU so far for your little eyes to feast on.  Give them a look and support horror!

Stacey-Beth reviews:

Blood Widow (2014)

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Filth (2014)
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Ghostlight (2013)

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Borgman (2014)

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Quad X: Porn Movie Massacre (2014)

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Cabin Fever: Patient Zero (2014)

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Don't Go To The Reunion (2014)

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Anna (2014)
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Deliver Us From Evil (2014)

Chris reviews:

Killervision (2014)

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Chastity Bites (2013)

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Under The Dark Wing *short* (2014)

Go forth and read.  Watch movies.  And don't forget to subscribe to our blog with your email to the right of this post and receive notifications when a new post goes up!

-Stacey

Would You Rather (2013)

Running Time: 93 minutes

Release Date: February 8, 2013

Review by: Stacey

On a whim I decided to check out Would You Rather as I have been slacking on making content for my precious blog here.  Sorry!  BUT, I have been lending my horror reviews to an amazing horror movie website, Horror Movies Uncut.  I'll make a separate post about that in the next few hours.  Onto the film at hand.

Skinwalker Ranch (2013)

Running Time: 86 minutes

Release Date: October 30, 2013

Review by: Chris

Skinwalkers. The yee naldlooshi. With it, he goes on all fours.
Growing up Native and spending the summers of my formative years with
my grandparents and extended family on the San Carlos 'rez' I am no
stranger to whispered second hand tales of malevolent shapeshifters.
 Spoken hushed in the afternoon, outside of grandfather's earshot-- Never around the campfire. Never at dark. Never out loud. For They
listen. They hear when named. They come when called. These
supernatural stories of dark magics and twisted men and spirits fired
the imaginations of a young boy and his friends. Children whose world
was still filled with mystery and wonder and awe. They were my boogey
men. My Cucuy. My Gurumāpā. So naturally when this review came across
my desk (okay I really don't have a desk), I was ready to jump feet
first, and revisit my childhood boogeyman.

Shock Waves (1977)

   Running Time: 90 minutes
Release Date: July 15, 1977

Review by: Chris

 

 "Don't go into the water." The tagline made famous by 1978's Jaws, still echo's down cinema's hallowed halls. It's a little known fact that Spielberg was inspired by the tagline "Don't go into the water...it's anti Semitic."  Born from this week's review feature, 1977's Shock Waves, a true story (probably not true...probably).  Ken Wiederhorn's stylistic nazi zombie film brings quite a few unique takes on the undead horror genre, not the least of which is the nazi zombie itself. After all what's worse than a zombie...that's right a zombie that hates freedom.

Zombie Honeymoon (2004)

Running Time: 83 minutes

Release Date: October 23, 2004

Review by: Chris   

'Til death do us part. Words to love by. But what if that love is the shambling horror born of Romero's magnum opus? 2004's indie horror fest Zombie Honeymoon is writer/director David Gebroe's swing at the question. Part horror and part romance with a sprinkling humor, made ZH impossible to pass up as a featured review for us here at TAF.

    Right off the bat it must be mentioned that Zombie Honeymoon is inappropriately titled. While yes, the events in our tale do occur during a honeymoon and it does involve the aforementioned zombie; the actual title "zombie honeymoon" makes you picture a carefree, zany, 70's gore and boob fest rife with puns, one liners and chainsaw-wielding hotties in tank tops.  Light-hearted is exactly what ZH is not. Inspired from the tragedy suffered by David Gebroe's younger sister at the loss of her husband, ZH is a hybrid of therapy and a "valentine to her strength, her ability to get through her grief and keep moving in life." What emerges is a seriously toned examination of what it is to wholly and completely give yourself to someone regardless of what has become of them. Far more art house than slasher fair. Are we having fun yet?

The Entity (1982)

Running Time: 125 minutes

Release Date: February 4, 1983
Review by: Stacey

"A story so shocking, so threatening, it will frighten you beyond all imagination."  Solid tagline, dudes.  Sadly, it only delivered about 80% of that, and that's coming from someone (me, duh) who has this in her top 10 favorites.  Based on Frank De Felitta's novel of the same name and directed by Sidney J. Furie, "The Entity" was filmed in 1981 but didn't see a worldwide release until 1982 (US release was in '83).  The 70's and early 80's saw an influx of supernatural/demonic films in the horror genre because who doesn't love a good possession, amiright?  And probably because, for the same reason found footage films are so big right now, it works and we're intrigued.

100 Tears (2007) ++First video review!++

Running Time: 88 minutes

Release Date: June 23, 2007

Review by: Chris & Stacey

As stated in the title of this post, here is our first video review so watch and enjoy!

 

Stacey: 4/10 oversized clown cleavers

Chris: 6/10 unnecessarily large pants

House aka Hausu (1977)

Running Time:  88 minutes

Release Date:  July 30, 1977

Review By:  Chris  

 Absurd. Daffy. Surreal. There are many adjectives in the English language. Without them it can be difficult to easily communicate abstract interpretations of a situation or thing. See i just used three right there. House is one such thing that can be difficult to verbalize. Not because fitting adjectives are unavailable, but to the contrary there are far too many adjectives available that seemly conflict with each other.

The Shrine (2010)

Running Time:  93 minutes
Release Date: July 25, 2010

Review by: Stacey

 

Looks like we've got a "new-ish" movie on our hands with 2010's The Shrine and it was a delightful damn surprise!  I originally watched this movie about 2 years ago and decided to re-watch last night and still enjoyed it as much as I did the first time.  Director Jon Knautz, who is known for his comedy/horror flick Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer,  switched it up with a genuinely creepy movie that seemed like some kind of demonic Wicker Man mashup. This was one that started off slow and a little "meh" in the first half and turned it right the hell around in the second half with a story that finally came out and made that first part worth watching.

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

Running Time:  96 minutes (uncut)

Release Date:  February 7, 1980

Review By:  Chris

"I wonder who the real cannibals are." The closing line of Cannibal Holocaust.

The leading contender for the worlds most banned film and the grandfather of "found footage" genre, directed by Ruggero Deodato,  Cannibal Holocaust has a near mythic and notorious reputation among cinephiles and horror enthusiasts alike. A marathon display of the viewer's stamina and strength of resolve up against a mad man's twisted and bloody nightmare. So what better launching point for us to use as we dive into the churning sea of cinema.

The Last House On The Left (1972)

Running Time: 84 min
Release Date: August 30, 1972

Review by: Stacey
 

I couldn't think of a better first review than Wes Craven's directorial debut The Last House On The Left, could you?  You may not share the same opinions as me or the same taste in horror movies as me, but that's okay!  We all share the same LOVE and appreciation for the horror genre and that's what matters.  This is going to be a fun and gorey adventure for all of us and maybe we'll learn a few things from each other along the way.  Now let's start, shall we?

Heeeeeere's Stacey! (And sometimes Chris)

Welcome to my horror review blog.

(Fuck that clown)
 
This is my first time starting something that I feel is productive on the internet because horror is a big passion of mine and I wanted to make a place where I (and sometimes fellow friends) can spew all of our good/bad/unpopular opinions on movies in a genre that never goes out of style and aims to fill us with adrenaline and fear.  And because everything on the internet will suck after this.
This page will probably be a little basic to begin with as I'm mildly useless when it come to technology--I'm 27 with a 68 year old's mind-- so bear with me!  Hopefully you'll read some kickass reviews here and tell all of your horror-loving friends about it because that would be awesome.  

Real quick note for everyone: I'm Stacey.

From Texas.  Horror-obsessed.  Lover of all things gorey with a fondness for Italian horror especially.  I like Bagel Bites and space. 
But let's continue, shall we?

As you saw me mention in the title, my best friend Chris will be joining the blog more often than not to offer his thoughts on varying movies (and we'll even be combining brains to make review VIDEOS) but try not to love him more than me because then I'll have to kill him--JUST KIDDING...maybe...  As a matter of fact, I just received an e-mail from him today with his Cannibal Holocaust review and it's full of words and things and even a witty use of the term "turtle steaks",  so this place is already going to make you fall in love and want to throw money at us for no reason.

(Assuming you're all white businessmen)

I have a lot planned for this blog and I'm really excited about it (i.e. reviewing not just horror movies but horror-themed shows of my liking).  I'm also 100% open to recommendations and suggestions on movies that you would like us to see and review but I have ZERO idea how you would do that here so I'll be leaving my Tumblr link as well as my Twitter so feel free to leave me messages with your ideas.  The horror community is a great, big place and while 98% of it is an accepting place to be, there's that other 2% that form an elitist mentality with horror and I'm definitely going to say upfront right now that I am NOT one of those douchers.  We all love the same thing: HORROR. Let's hang out and be cool and make friends and talk about the same badass thing we all grew up to love.

So, I mean, I guess that's about it.  I just wanted to make a little intro to get the ball rolling and let y'all know what you're getting yourselves into!  I hope you stumble upon this blog through some magical, mystical way (or Google) and think it's rad enough to continue coming back and supporting we do.

-Stacey

p.s. Look out for the first review in the next few days!  Or you can put your e-mail in the little box to the right and be notified when new posts go up on the page!

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