Christmas is actually my least favorite holiday (what a shocker); there's just too much damn cheeriness for me. And the music, dark lord, the music. Don't get me wrong, I still decorate the hell out of my house every year and put up a tree, but that's because it's the perfect mood setter for when I turn off every other light and sit down for my annual viewing of Bob Clark's BLACK CHRISTMAS or the ever-so-bizarre CHRISTMAS EVIL.
Ash and I decided to pick 3 movies each that we think are perfect watches for your holiday viewing this year. Read on below for our lists!
S-B's Picks:
This year I decided to forego my usual Christmas watches and check out a few holiday horrors that might fly under your radar but are totally worth adding to the watchlist.
Funny enough, this is one I hadn't even heard of until maybe a year or two ago and finally decided to give a watch a few days ago. Young boy, Pietari, and his friend discover that an excavation team have uncovered the tomb of Santa Claus, except this isn't the friendly, bearded man we all know... The real Santa Claus and his elves are way scarier and murderous.
This is a little holiday gem out of Finland that I fell in love with. The content of the film may be dark, but there's something charming about it that I think a lot of folks will enjoy when they watch it.
This one gets overlooked a lot in regards to Christmas horror. Just because it doesn't have a killer in a white beard and red suit doesn't mean it's not a suitable entry!
Leaving work late on Christmas Eve, Angela gets locked in a parking garage and is relentlessly pursued by a psychopathic security guard as she tries to fight for her life and escape.
See, no killer Santas, but 98 minutes of intensity. With Franck Khalfoun (Maniac remake) in the director's chair and Alexandre Aja (High Tension) producing, this story isn't going to steer you wrong, I promise. There's also a car-ramming kill scene that almost made me look away.
There's a really good chance you haven't heard of this one. Included as part of the Spanish collection 6 Films to Keep You Awake, this 71 minute feature takes place in '85 as five friends stumble onto a woman dressed as Santa Claus who is injured and trapped in a hole in the woods. After finding out she's a suspected bank robber, the kids decide to keep her trapped in the hole unless she gives them the money.
Not unlike Stranger Things, this tale has plenty of nostalgic nods and is the second movie on my list who's main characters are kids. Directed by Paco Plaza (REC 1, 2, and 3), Cuento de Navidad is darkly funny. Make no mistake though, the humor in this only enhances the sinister nature of the story.
(All 6 films from the collection are available streaming on SHUDDER right now!)
Ash's Picks:
Merry Christmas, Merry Kwanzaa, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Winter Solstice and most importantly Festivus for the rest of us.
They say it’s the most wonderful time of the year though I personally think that October and Halloween is but to each their own. For people like me Christmas is a time to set aside ones differences and share that time with those who you have avoided the other 11 months of the year. How do we achieve such a monumental feat? With copious amounts of alcohol and horror movies. So here are a few Christmas related horror films that I recommend to help you through the holidays.
Billy gets an exotic pet for Christmas that comes with 3 simple rules. Sadly, no one tells him that the pet can spawn an army of hideous and mischievous monsters that will wreak havoc and destruction on his Norman Rockwell’esque town.
This one I watch every Christmas. I can’t say enough about this movie. To me it’s the perfect mix of 80s nostalgia and dark comedy with a splash of horror. So this holiday season between opening gifts and drinking egg nog if your heater goes on the fritz, if your Galaxy 7 phone bursts into flames or your internet conks out- before you call the repairman turn on all the lights, check all the closets and cupboards, look under all the beds, ‘cause you never can tell there might just be a gremlin in your house.
Billy has had a pretty hard life. His mother and father are killed by a criminal dressed up as Santa and is raised in an orphanage run by a nasty nun who beats him and other kids because of their wicked actions. Years later, all he wants to do is bring the true meaning of Christmas to one and all. Sadly, his idea of the true meaning of Christmas is punishing all the naughty boys and girls. Where Santa would give kids lumps of coal, this Santa murders them.
Yea this one for me is a guilty pleasure. It, too, is a product of the 80s where VHS allowed a market of cheap b-horror films to flourish and this is one of them. Its crude, lewd and just so dang fun to watch. PUNISH!!!
And you thought your holidays suck. Expecting mother Sarah has had one fucked up year. Her husband is killed in a car accident and on Christmas eve while preparing to have her child, some crazy woman breaks into her house with the intention of cutting her unborn baby out of her… yea, hanging with the extended family or the in-laws doesn’t sound so bad after all, does it?
This one is last on my list because out of all of them it has the least to do with Christmas, but it's still a damn good movie. Once the horror starts it’s unrelenting and the damage these two women inflict on each other is brutal. If you are a fan of invader-type horror films like Hush then this film is right up your alley.
Let us know what you think about our picks in the comment section below!
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