The Last House On The Left (1972)

Running Time: 84 min
Release Date: August 30, 1972

Review by: Stacey
 

I couldn't think of a better first review than Wes Craven's directorial debut The Last House On The Left, could you?  You may not share the same opinions as me or the same taste in horror movies as me, but that's okay!  We all share the same LOVE and appreciation for the horror genre and that's what matters.  This is going to be a fun and gorey adventure for all of us and maybe we'll learn a few things from each other along the way.  Now let's start, shall we?

 A classic and a first in the horror exploitation/rape revenge movies of the 1970's, Last House is known by many yet still a widely unfamiliar and underrated film (if you don't pay any attention to the kind of disappointing remake.)  A loose remake of Ingmar Bergman's 1960 film The Virgin Spring, the marketing was a memorable one with the infamous "To avoid fainting, keep repeating 'It's only a movie...only a movie'...", I mean, I named my blog after it, and it geared people for something that was going to be depraved and vile and it delivered.  In a time now where filmmakers are trying to go above and beyond in gore and violence it's sometimes necessary to take a step back in time and see where it all began.

          

(One of these is not like the other.  In the sense that one sucks.)

I watched my personal copy of The Last House On The Left with the introduction by Craven,  who instructs people to remove children from the room and possibly take a tranquilizer, with previously removed content restored in the film.  Probably not neccessary if you've seen it as many times as I have!  In the movie you're introduced to Mari Collingwood (Sandra Cassel)  and her parents, Mrs. and Dr. Collingwood (Cynthia Carr and Gaylord St James), who have too much to say about Mari's nipples and it's a little weird (see:REALLY) but that's just a minor glitch in the film.  Mari is planning to attend a Bloodlust concert with her friend, Phyllis (Lucy Grantham), who you learn isn't exactly a favorite of Mari's parents.  Probably because she was some kind of trouble makin' hussy...or something.  After some frolicking in the woods and doing whatever it is you're supposed to do in the woods before a concert, Mari and Phyllis are off in search of some weed and run into Junior Stillo (Marc Sheffler) who leads them to the 3 antagonists:  Krug Stillo (David A. Hess), Weasel (Fred Lincoln), and Sadie (Jeramie Rain).

(Hey, that's exactly how my chest piece felt)

What follows is a brutal descent into evil and perversion that picks you up 13 min in and keeps going until the very end.  You'll find Phyllis and Mari subjected to rape, humiliation, torture and eventually death.  The rape scenes, Phyllis pissing in her pants (actually happened), and the general grossness of the group's actions ALMOST make it all worth watching; although that could be the wrong word.  And it's all because you know karma is an asshole and that Mari's parents will shortly be exacting their revenge.  And exact their revenge they did.  After some murderous mishaps that, in a coincidence only fate can bring, the group finds themselves at Mari's house where the parents gladly offer their help and let them stay the night.  Mrs. Collingwood manages to put two and two together and realizes what fate has befell their missing daughter, at which point the two parents plot their next move.

I felt like I was watching an adult version of Home Alone during the set up of the "booby/death trap" scenes and you knew the sick fucks weren't going to get out alive.  There's throat slitting, heads blown off, chainsaws and the infamous scene with Mrs. Collingwood and Weasel that involves the start of a blowj and....lots of gnashing teeth...  You start to question if the victim has now become the villian.  Is it all justified?  Fuck yeah, I mean, we all want to see the bad guys get taken down, right?  These revenge movies are everywhere you look now with so it's easy to forget where exactly the roots to them lie.

 

This movie is a favorite of mine for so many reasons; from the skincrawling way it makes you feel, the comedic relief by the cops (which is welcome in such a horribly uncomfortable movie) to the hokey score for the movie that Hess (Krug) actually wrote, it's hard for me to find something I dislike about the movie.  The constant changing of the scenes with happy-go-lucky music while the parents set up Mari's birthday party to the scenes of Mari and Phyllis being brutalized is Wes Craven's way of keeping us emotionally confused and repulsed but not able to turn away, thinking "This man is sick...a genius!"  While I can understand why some may disagree; it's old, it's quirky and cheesy and it doesn't bombard you with extreme gore, I implore you to sit down and re-watch or watch for a first time and look at it as a piece of classic cinema that you don't get to see very often these days. 

This is definitely in my top 20 favorite horror films of all time and it should be in your collection as well!
 

8/10 Sausage Grinders