Someone yesterday told me that the reason I didn't like this one was because I "didn't understand it." 1) If you have ever said this to someone, you're an idiot. And 2) I assure those of you who haven't seen it, or have and didn't like it, there really isn't much to "understand." If you didn't like, it's probably because the trailer was misleading as hell and the movie itself was largely underwhelming.
There has been an earthquake and it isn't pretty. Strange things are afoot. Surfacing in the aftershocks are all the potentialities of our dystopic present. This is Kuso. And we need to talk about it. I'm not going to lie to you, but neither am I going to tell you the truth. After witnessing this film, I admit, I can't be honest, and to be honest, I don't think you can either. So, let's find a dark corner and chat. I promise nothing here is real. It's only a film.
Except Kuso isn't a film. It's Japanese for "shit" and shit is as good of a description as any. This shit is an experience. It is an assault. It is an attack on your senses and your sensibilities. It is the murder of your subconscious. It is the rebirth of your dirty little id. It is you, you nasty fucker, in all your disturbed glory. Why would you watch this (and we both know you're going to, dear reader)? What the fuck is wrong with you?
There are two questions I hate to be asked: "what is wrong with you?" and "Are you alright?" The answers have always been, "I don't know" and "maybe?" respectively. They are the questions my mother has asked most consistently over the course of my life. As a result, I ask everyone. At this point, I have a strong urge to ask Steve, the director of Kuso, the very same questions (probably in the same tone as my mother). I think I would probably get similar answers or worse answers or no answers at all. Maybe there are no answers. But still... wtf, Steve? I'm not sure I'm equipped to handle this shit.
For those of you that don't already know, Steve has an alias. His alter ego is DJ/producer/musician extraordinaire Flying Lotus. And, if you are aware of the work of FL, this shit might make a bit more sense.
(Before we go any further, stop what you're doing and go listen to FL' s 2014 release "You're Dead!" I'll wait.)
Kuso is a lot like Steve's work as Flying Lotus: dark, jerky, offensive, assaultive. It exists on the outer rim of the modern avant garde. Kuso isn't representative of a "critical utopia in an increasingly dystopic moment" (Red Wedge Magazine). It is a near future nightmare firmly rooted in the extreme alienation and arbitrary violence of our late capitalist America. Here oral sex with a talking boil is the cement in an apocalyptic relationship. A shrimp like bug living in the asshole of a "doctor" cures phobias. The coat hanger is the official take home prescription for unwanted pregnancy. Interdimensional, weed obsessed alien house mates meet out "justice" on a date rapist. An incontinent schoolboy makes a validating discovery in the strangely enchanted woods. A woman falls after her baby through a hole that leads to hell. These vignettes form the topography of a world shaken by a cataclysmic earthquake and they are stitched together by a series of animated/musical interludes that are equally unsettling.
I realize I have beat around the bush. I warned you I couldn't be completely honest about any of this. It isn't my fault. If you want to know the truth, its your fault. You're the sick fucker that's actually going to watch this shit. What's wrong with you? I don't have the answer to that but, before I make my way out into the South Texas heat, I'm going to leave you with some tips. If I were you, I would pay attention (but we both know you won't).
1. DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM! (I couldn't possibly be more emphatic here!)
2. WATCH THIS FILM.
3. Keep your eyes closed at all times (if you open them, I'll know)
4. Wear gloves.
5. Wear clothes (no one wants to see your bloated ass naked, especially you).
6. If you encounter a talking boil do not put your dick in or around it.
7. Tell your mom you're sorry (she didn't raise you to watch trash like this).
8. Avoid eating for the duration of the film.
9. Be sober.
10. Let the credits roll (patience is the hallmark of maturity).
Well, that's it gang. I can't say I enjoyed our time together, you knuckle dragging animals. Enjoy!
Oh my god, could it be? A "new" episode of HORROR HUDDLE?!
I say new with quotations because this video was actually filmed right after Halloween of '16 but we never got around to posting it up...until now!
Which will lead me to apologize in advance for the atrocious sound (we've gotten better equipment since then!) and I messed up the settings during filming so that's why I'm trapped in a box on the bottom corner of the video.
Good news is that Ash and I are going to be filming new content for you all starting this week!
Onto the video- this week we talk Neil Marshall's adventure horror THE DESCENT and its less-than-stellar sequel THE DESCENT 2 directed by Jon Harris.
Enjoy and leave some feedback!
Find us on Instagram: staceybethh || e.txcountryboy
Shit, between movies like In Her Skin, Wolf Creek, Snowtown Murders, and now Ben Young's debut, Hounds of Love, I don't think I'll ever get my ass to Australia anytime soon. I hadn't even heard of this little piece of cinema until last week when I saw a trailer for it and as a lover of all things rooted in true crime, I knew Hounds had to be up my alley. Apparently it's gotten positive feedback on the festival circuit and it's not hard to see why.
If you follow me anywhere else on social media, you know that us folks here at To Avoid Fainting just got back from 2017's Texas Frightmare Weekend! We had such a blast and came back with new friends, bruised livers and sore legs, and a big heap of merch from several of the buttload of vendors that were in attendance.
I don't think I'm going to post the following pictures in any particular order, so just enjoy!
Arrow Videos had such an impressive selection of blu's that we couldn't help but pick up a few for ourselves (which means more reviews to come!)
As you can see we stopped by the Severin Films booth as well for more films!
Sorry for the potato quality, but we also attended the Blumhouse.com panel (hosted by Rebekah McKendry, who is a total sweetheart - and Ryan Turek, who I believe, is Director of Development for Blumhouse) which was fascinating hearing them discuss the films on the roster, some of the ins and outs of the website, and a few future projects in the works.
In that same group of folks, we also attended a live recording of their podcast, Shock Waveswhich I highly recommend to anyone who has a deep love and appreciation for horror.
All of that also means I finally got to meet the awesome and funny, Rob Galluzzo, who is the Senior Editor at Blumhouse.com
Saturday is/was the busiest day of the convention weekend! Every square space was full of people milling about meeting their favorite actors/artists/directors or buying something from the insane amount of awesome vendors that were posted up.
It pains me to say that I never got around to meeting one of my favorite directors, Dario Argento, who was one of the guests this year. I swear, we had the worst luck every time we tried to get in line (they seemed to always have "capped" the line at the moments we walked up)! I'll just be content with the fact that I saw him in person from 10 ft away and breathed the same air as him! Is that creepy? OH WELL.
More awesome friends we met!
Of course we couldn't go and NOT rep TAF!
Adam was particularly excited about his Monster Squad prints from London1888!
(how amazingly gross is that fucking Don't Breathe pin!?)
London1888 has this pretty badass Texas Chainsaw Massacre/Whataburger bundle exclusive to TFW. Which, OF COURSE, as loyal Texans, we had to purchase!
Our resident To Avoid Faintingmodel, Adam.
Real squirrel foot necklace! I never thought I needed one until this past weekend.
There was even an auction for the "Jane" used to promote The Autopsy of Jane Doe! Even more awesome, all proceeds went to StopTheStigma.org
To sum our weekend up, it was an absolute blast. Hopefully next year we can attend and participate in even more shenanigans!