Carrie (2013)

 Running Time: 99 minutes
Release Date: October 18, 2013

Review by: Stacey

Any time news comes out about a classic horror film being remade, you immediately hear the angrily hurried clicking of the keyboards as horror fans all over spit and hiss at the very idea of some schlub ruining fan favorites.  I will not lie, I am usually one of those people.  Most modern remakes of horror films that we've all grown to love over the decades have been pure shit (*coughTheFogcough*), can you blame me?  Now this brings me to 2013's Carrie remake, which actually wasn't PURE shit but also wasn't good at all.

The remake didn't deviate from the original plot much at all, but for you folks living under a rock, Carrie follows the story of a teenager who is constantly bullied at her high school and tormented by her insane, Christian mom at home.  After learning she harnesses telekinetic powers, she unleashes terror on her high school prom after being pushed too far.  

When you think about it, not a lot happens in this film until the final act, so there's only so much you can say plot wise before giving it all away.  Although, if you haven't seen Carrie by now, you shouldn't be too upset by spoilers.  That being said, this remake didn't do much for me at all.  It didn't bring anything to the table or even improve upon the original.  At that point, it just makes a remake seem meaningless.

I have a couple of grievances with this one.  First being the pretty non-stellar acting.  I know everyone's main job was to play "shitty teenager" and it can be hard when you're like 27, but c'mon, guys.  The over-acting and crappy dialogue was pretty painful.  Chloe Grace Moretz as Carrie, herself, couldn't pull off the kind of ugly, awkward thing Sissy Spacek had.  Also, where the original just had to hope you understood the telekinetic aspect, the remake spoon fed you the entire process of discovery of her powers.  The excessive use of CGI, especially in the final prom scene, just wasn't good when you consider how effective its predecessor was without it.  Also, WHEN THE FUCK DID CARRIE LEARN TO FLY??

I can say that Julianne Moore as Carrie's mom played crazy asshole very well, but even then, her role seemed a lot more minor than the 1976 version.  It lacked the subtle but disturbing feel that we all know and love and gave us just another forgettable film.  Which is sad considering director Kimberly Peirce had wild success with her debut film, Boys Don't Cry.

The film failed in its attempt to re-invent a classic for the modern audience.  I can respect where Carrie tried to make it's original proud, but a lot didn't allow it to be executed properly.  I've seen enough shitty remakes to tell you that your night won't be ruined if you watch the Carrie remake but I will advise you to stick to the original because you'll feel a lot better about your time spent afterwards.  Hell, read the Stephen King book that the film was based on while you're at it!

2/5 inappropriately violent PE teachers

Check it out on Netflix now!