Werewolves on Wheels (1971)

Running Time: 85 minutes

Release Date: November 19, 1971

Review by: Stacey

 

I mean, the cover art really says it all about this one, right?  What could go wrong when you mix bikers, Satan, and werewolves?  The answer you would 9/10 get out of me would be "abso-fuckin-lutely nothing", but this no-frills titled bikesploitation horror flick managed to miss the mark several times throughout, and it's not because there were too many werewolves on wheels...

Don't jump the gun just yet, there's actually a story to Werewolves on Wheels, and it follows biker gang, The Devil's Advocates (of course), as they ride around carefree, getting high and wasted while beating up poor innocent folk whenever they so please.  After stumbling upon a monastery, the group is fed bread and wine by a group of hooded monks, and promptly pass out.  That's when the monks decide to sacrifice some animals and coerce Helen (D.J. Anderson) to become the bride of Satan.  Before the ritual could be complete, the gang busts in, beats up the monks and saves Helen.  In the midst of beating up the monks, though, the faces of the gangs were "marked" by ash and Helen is now possessed and can turn into a werewolf....I know, right?

Coming off of the high that was Easy Rider in '69, there was no doubt an influx of biker films and, of course, "biker horror" had to become a thing (my review for Psychomania).  Werewolves on Wheels oozed that cool, 70's biker feel, and that's largely due to the fact that the majority of the actors were actual bikers.  Their inexperience, though, didn't help in bringing any substance to their characters, with the exception of gang leader, Adam (Stephen Oliver), his old lady, Helen, and second-in-command Tarot (Duece Berry).  Aesthetically, the movie was great, especially if you have a "thing" for bikers and the occult fascination of that time, or just the 70's decade in general. 

 I'm just going to say it, there was a SEVERE lack of actual werewolves on wheels.  So much so that you don't even see one until the last 8 minutes or so of the movie.  I felt bamboozled by it!  There was, however, no shortage of long, drawn out shots of the gang riding in the desert and fighting/discussing nothing of interest to anyone, especially the viewer.  I blame that on poor writing/directing (looking at you Michele Levesque and David M. Kaufman).  Not to mention, the werewolf mythology was never explored and at one point, I'm positive Helen bit Adam's neck while he was sleeping, like a vampire.  The filmmaker didn't give a fuuuuuck about a cohesive story, that's clear, especially when what seemed like it was a foreshadowing scene about Helen's death just never came to fruition at all.

That being said, the scenes with the monks were pretty awesome, especially the Helen-naked-dancing-with-a-skull part.  The werewolf costume itself was definitely reminiscent of Lon Chaney Jr.'s Wolf Man and it's a damn shame we only got to see two werewolves and for a very brief amount of time at the end, but I believe that was due to budget restrictions.  While the kills were mostly off-camera and the gore was sparse but it had that awesome fake look that fans of older films will appreciate.  The soundtrack was what drew me in and kept me watching; it had a good mix of "southern rock" and trippy, psychedelic sounds.  Like, someone find me the damn soundtrack on vinyl ASAP.

 

There was a lot going on and not a lot at all happening at the same time in Werewolves on Wheels, and it wasn't good, I won't lie about that.  BUT, it's a fun watch if you're into the exploitative cult films of that time, and at most you'll listen to some groovy tunes the whole time.

 2/5 hairy biker babes

Check out the trailer!