Pieces (1982)

Running Time: 89 minutes

Release Date: September 23, 1983 (US)

Review by: Stacey

I swear, this movie has been in my Hulu queue for the last 6 months and have heard countless times from many folks how much of a classic it is, and yet, I still had NO idea what the plot was before I went into it.  I mean, judging by the two taglines on the cover, do I really need to know anything more?  Honestly, I'm still not sure what I saw, but I do know that it was hilarious.

"It's exactly what you think it is!" That's really all you need to know when you're wondering what Pieces is about, but I'll humor y'all anyways.  40 years after a young boy hacks his mother to -ahem- pieces, college kids start getting brutally murdered by a chainsaw-wielding maniac who wants to make his own real-life jigsaw lady puzzle.

See, there's not much to it.  What follows is an exploitation slasher that forgoes a good script and solid performances for buckets of blood and laughable, nonsensical scenes.

  

  
Shot by Spanish director, Juan Piquer Simón, Pieces just doesn't make a lick of sense throughout most of the movie.  In the beginning of the film a young woman skateboarding down the sidewalk smashes right into a giant mirror and that's the last we hear of her.  Presumably the only death (they never actually show her die) not at the hands of the chainsaw killer, did I miss how that was important to the story?  I can't forget to mention the random appearance by a kung-fu professor who almost beats the shit out of Mary Riggs (Lynda Day George), who is a former tennis player but now an undercover cop (WTF???).  Actual quote from the guy after Mary kicks him right in the nuts- "Ohhh, I am out jogging and next thing I know I am on ground! Something I eat, bad chop suey. So long!" WHAT.  According to IMDB, the only reason this scene was in the movie was because producer Dick Randall was making kung-fu films in Rome at the time.  

The top-notch dialogue and acting must be addressed, especially one scene in particular that seemed to be put in just to make the setting of a future kill make sense.  While a group of students are standing around smoking, one casually mentions the new waterbed that had just been placed in the training room (ahh, fresh out of the 70's) and another replies "The most beautiful thing in the world is smoking pot and fucking on a waterbed."  Or Mary shouting "Bastard....BASTARD....BASTAAARDD!" at no one while college student/amateur sleuth, Kendall (Ian Sera), stares at her blankly.  There's so much awful in this movie it's hard to understand why I actually enjoyed it.

 

I think that can only be explained by the amount of gore Pieces had.  There were heads being lopped off and literally bottomless girls strewn about the campus.  The kill on the waterbed was probably my favorite; slow-mo blood and water gushing right before he rams the knife into the back of her head and out her mouth.  Definitely a classic scene.  It's all tasteless and that's the perfect reason to enjoy this film, right down to the ultimate what-the-fuckery that is the final scene.  You just have to watch to see what I'm talking about.

If you're wondering if I actually enjoyed the movie, you're damn right I did.  For all it's badness and comical moments.  I won't recommend this flick to just anyone, but if you're in for some trashy exploitation full of gore, Pieces is where you should turn.

2.5/5 not at all creepy landscapers 

 

Check out the weird ass trailer!